Help.

There are two issues we encounter when we have a fear of asking people for help.

(Believe me, I know I'm preaching to the choir.)

Asking for help is not meant to be a burden or a cause of anxiety; it is meant to make us more vulnerable. It gives us a chance to practice on humans so it's not as scary when we ask for 

help from God. 

Issue #1: Pride

When we struggle with asking for help, there is a good chance that we are letting our big, fat, ugly pride get in the way. 

We would rather spend two hours driving around aimlessly instead of stopping and letting some stranger know that we don't have a clue where we're going. 

(I'm talking to you, dads.)

Because asking for help can sometimes be embarrassing.

We don't want to ask for help from someone who knows more about what we are struggling with because then we might look stupid.

And that, my dear ladies, is pride.

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." -Proverbs 16:18

When we think that we can figure it out on our own and we don't need any help, we are playing a dangerous game. 

We are saying "I got it, God, You can take a day off."

HA.

I seriously don't want to know what would happen if God took a day off from leading my blind self through life. 

It wouldn't be pretty, that's for sure.

Recognizing our pride is super important, because when we start recognizing it, we can start 

destroying it. 

Engaging in mini surrenders to Jesus on a regular basis helps rid us of our pride more easily.

These mini surrenders involve recognizing our pride, asking the Lord to remove it from us, and then asking Him to keep us humble and to reject pride when it attacks again.

Issue #2: Control

I am a control freak. 

No joke, hands down, I love being in control.

Which is great (sarcasm) because the Lord loves reminding me that I am, in fact, not in control.

However, my love of control makes it very difficult for me to feel comfortable asking people for help.

It gives me anxiety and I don't sleep for two weeks.

I have fear that if I let someone else do something, they will do it incorrectly or not finish it and then I will have to go back and redo it or finish it on my own.

This not only hold some hints of pride (who says my way is the best way), but it also causes great amounts of stress. 

And when whatever I'm attempting to do fails, because it ultimately will if I'm in complete control, I experience even more stress.

It's a vicious cycle. 

When I finally break down and ask for help, it is usually because I have completely exhausted myself and I'm on the edge of a mental breakdown/there's no way to finish everything I've taken on. 

The way to break the cycle of control and learn how to ask for help in a healthy, timely manner goes back to mini surrenders and daily reminders.

Find ways to remind yourself on a daily basis that you are not in control, and that is OKAY. 

You were not created to be in control; you were created to love God and love people, and you can't do that well if you are flooding your schedule instead of asking for help. 

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still." -Exodus 14:14

This week take some time and ask for help.

Maybe that means finding someone to tutor you.

Maybe it means asking for help in overcoming an addiction.

Whatever it is, remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of someone who knows their limits and wants to operate within them. 

Technology.

Congratulations!

Today I am giving you a break from my personal ramblings, and sending you somewhere else. 

I recently came across an article about the impact that social media can have on relationships.

This doesn't necessarily mean just romantic relationships.

Social media impacts your relationships with your family, your friends, your coworkers, and really anyone else you connect with on a daily basis. 

So, take some time out of your day to read this article, and then come back next week for a…

BRAND NEW BLOG SERIES. 

That's right, get excited. 

Sticky.

I am sitting here typing this with very sticky fingers due to an unfortunate french toast syrup incident. 

If there's one thing I hate more than wet socks, it's sticky fingers. 

I swear, no matter how many times you wash your hands, it's impossible to get the stickiness off.

And then, when you touch other things, those things get sticky too. 

I remember one time picking up a toy after my brother had played with it, and it was covered in syrup. So now he was sticky, the toy was sticky, and I was sticky.

Sin is sticky. 

It presents itself as something enticing and sweet, and then when you're in the thick of it, it starts to stick. And not only does it stick to you, it starts to stick to everything around you. 

And once it's stuck, it's hard to wash off. 

Obviously I'm not talking about in an eternal sense, because when you become a believer, all your sins are wiped away and covered by the blood of Jesus. 

I'm talking about how sin affects our present, earthly lives in a very real and dangerous way.

You cannot compartmentalize sin. 

Maybe not right away, but eventually, it will permeate every single area of your life. 

The devil does not care if you argue with your best friend. 

The devil cares that the arguing you're doing is causing you to think less about Jesus and more about your problems and situation. 

The goal of the enemy is to distract us, as believers, from the work we were put here to do.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." Matthew 26:19

When we allow sin to stick in our lives, we are allowing the devil to distract us from spreading the Good News. This is especially detrimental if we are in a place where a lot of our friends are not Christians. If you are partaking in sin in front of nonbelievers, you are hurting your witness for Christ. 

As Christians, we have an obligation to the furthering of the Kingdom to recognize sin in our life, repent of it, and continue seeking Christ. 

Otherwise sin may start in one area of your life, like gossip or slander in a friendship, and then slowly spread to the other areas of your life, killing everything in its path. 

If you are allowing gossip or bitterness in one part of your life, don't be so naive to believe that it won't affect every other part of your life too. 

That is the danger of sin, and why it's so important to recognize it's stickiness before we let it in to our lives. 

So, this week, before you get caught up in the sweetness that sin projects, remember the sticky residue it will leave in your heart and in your life. 

Middle.

It's the middle of the semester.

You're halfway to the halfway point! 

I know right now that summer seems like a long ways away, but I promise you it will be here before you know it. 

The middle of the semester seems to be where lots of people hit a wall. 

You're exhausted, school is actually getting hard, and extra curricular's are in full swing. 

If we're not careful, moans of "how much longer" and "is it December yet" will overtake our lives. 

The problem with this mindset is that we are wishing away the "middle". 

The middle is such a big part of life and the Lord gives us middles for a very important reason: waiting.

Boy oh boy, I do NOT like to wait. 

 We're usually impatient not because we necessarily know or want what's coming next, but because we don't like where we're at currently. 

Currently: In school

Waiting: To get out

Next Chance: Christmas Break

Currently: Single

Waiting: To be in a relationship

Next Chance: Random boy that asks you out

Chances are you really aren't excited about Christmas Break or that random boy, but you want out of your current situation, so you start looking to whatever comes next. 

News flash: that's an awful way to live life.

Because life is not perfect, once you get whatever you were waiting for, it will inevitably disappoint you in some way, and you'll start wishing for the next thing. 

On our tombstones, our birth year and our death year are written and the dash in between represents our life. 

Our "middle" is only 90 years long, if we're lucky.

So instead of wishing the middle away on things that are temporary, let's spend the middle making much of Jesus. Because guess what?

The only thing worth waiting for is the return of Jesus Christ. 

Bottom line. End of story. No questions asked. 

So, instead of wishing it was Christmas Break, wait patiently and look at the mission field around you. 

If you have 8 classes a day, and there are 25 people in each class, you have 200 opportunities to show someone the love of Jesus. 

Instead of wishing you had a boyfriend, recognize the unique freedoms you have as a single person, and use those to serve the Lord. 

Waiting patiently doesn't mean you are stagnate, it means you recognize that something else is coming, but you don't let that thing define you or your actions.

So, this week, when you are sick and tired of school and everything around you, stop and be thankful for the middle that you were given. 

Know.

"I know that there is a monumental change I'm about to experience. 
That's scary. It's also extremely freeing. There is such freedom in not knowing. Knowing causes us to worry and to want to change things, when really, the Lord has everything perfectly planned out for us. By not knowing, we can know that it is going to be amazing. 
Shocking, tough, beautiful, dirty, grace-filled, amazing things are done when we hand God the pen and let Him write on our hearts. Then we will fully know the good works of Christ. We can watch Him bring us out of the darkness and into the light. We can be secure in the safety of our future."

April 26th, 2013

I blogged this over a year ago, just two months before embarking on my first international missions trip. Little did I know how true those words were, not only for the week we spent in Italy, but for every single day since I wrote them. 

"There is such freedom in not knowing" 

If you're reading this, I'm sure you've experienced uncertainty in some area of your life.

Maybe it's with finances, maybe a relationship, or maybe a college application. 

Either way, there will come a point in your life where you simply don't know.

And that is okay. 

Really, it is.

Think of how stressful it would be to know EVERYTHING. 

Our poor little finite brains couldn't handle it; that's why God does. 

"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is it's own troubles." -Matthew 6:34

At first that verse sounds pretty depressing. 

"Oh, each day is going to have a sufficient amount of trouble? Awesome."

No. 

Well, yes. 

Both. 

Every day there will be some point where you are not completely, entirely, happy. If you tell me I'm wrong, you are a liar. 

I'm not talking about "joy" or "peace". Those things are concrete things we acquire as believers that do not change with our circumstances.  

I'm talking about happy.

You know, "cute boy gives you a cuter puppy" kind of happy. 

If I'm not happy, I'm probably angry/sad/worried, or a combination of all of those. 

Think about the source of all of your unhappy moments.

They all, more than likely, stem from not knowing.

"I don't have a job, so I don't know how I'm going to pay for gas."

"I only applied to one school and I didn't get in, so I don't know where I'm going to college."

"My best friend moved away, and I don't know who to hang out with now."

We are not supposed to know. 

So the next time you are freaking out because you don't know, take a deep breath and remember that the Lord has a plan for you. 

We have a whole book and a whole history based on God's faithfulness to humans. 

Rest in that fact, and trust Him. 

Tough.

"Tough isn't always bad, sometimes tough is just tough." 

One of my favorite people told me this a few years ago, and the saying has stuck with me. So many times when things get tough, my first reaction is to throw my hands up in the air and sit down in defeat. Guess what happens when I do that? The enemy wins. Satan wants nothing more than for me to get going when the going gets tough. 

The past few weeks have been tough. Not tough like "oh my hair looks bad and my eyeliner is crooked", but the kind of tough where you look at all of the broken pieces of your plan on the ground and wonder how on earth they will ever make something else. 

But the past few weeks have also been incredibly powerful. I have seen so much love and support come from our students and their families. I have watched people rally together and fight. I've heard people say "we will not give up". Because when you stop fighting for the progression of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you let Satan win. And we will not let Satan win. We will wake up every morning and know that we have the power of Christ within us, and we will persevere. Perseverance doesn't come without suffering, but it doesn't come without reward, either. Maybe that means earthly reward, and maybe it doesn't, but it always means eternal reward. 

"But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. 

 Have no fear of them, nor be troubled." -1 Peter 3:14

Blessings and sufferings are often tied together in the Bible. Think about it: have you ever felt strongly moved by a testimony where the person tells you that their life has been completely easy and perfect, and they have never had any hardships? I doubt it. 

In order to use you greatly, sometimes He must wound you deeply. 

That seems a little unfair, doesn't it? Let me tell you: life is not fair. If life was fair we would all spend eternity in hell because of the great sins we have committed. But the good news is that life is not fair, and we have someone to cling to when life get tough. 

"My soul clings to you;

                your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:8

Even when life gets crazy tough, remember that it isn't necessarily bad. Maybe the Lord is using this time to shape you and grow you for something incredible. Also know that you weren't created to go through the toughness alone. You are so loved by a God who knows your every need; cry out to Him and lean on Him when you can't stand on your own. Be open and vulnerable with other believers when you are experiencing some "tough". I guarantee that not only will they come alongside you and encourage you, but they will reveal some "tough" that they are dealing with too. 

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

He has overcome, so that you may have victory in Him. Rest, pray, and fellowship with that knowledge.

Chivalry.

"Chivalry is dead." 

How many times have you heard this phrase? 

As a woman growing up in a feministic society, I've heard it plenty of times. In fact, it's been engrained in my brain. That simple phrase slips out of my mouth when a guy fails to open the car door for me or takes the recliner during movie night while I am stuck on the floor. This seemingly harmless phrase has been bouncing around in my head over the summer as I have dug deeper into the meaning of being a true woman of Christ. 

The Christian side of us begs for a man who is going to open the car door and let us have the recliner. We recognize that we are daughters of the King and deserve to be treated with respect. However, society's fascination with feminism has wrecked our view of chivalry. We are now annoyed when he opens the car door for us because "does he really think I can't do that myself?", and we begin to confuse attempted chivalry with the implications that we are incapable of completing such tasks ourselves. 

Instead of accepting chivalry as it is, we twist it into something it's not and then project it's negativity back on the guy. We demand chivalry and then express our annoyance at it when it is displayed because we insist on being strong, self-sufficient women. If someone you love is constantly getting annoyed or frustrated by something you do, don't you eventually stop doing it? Chivalry isn't dead; it's simply hidden in the hearts of men who have been consistently rejected by "independent" women. 

Ladies, letting him open the car door for you isn't going to take away your independence or identity. It's simply a small way for him to show you he cares. If you want a man who is chasing after the heart of God, he will be respectful and chivalrous because it's a desire of his heart. Don't take that away from him.

Men, don't be afraid to show us you care. When you find the right girl, she won't be scared away by acts of chivalry, but will cherish them instead. Look for a woman of Christ who is humble enough to not only accept your acts of chivalry, but thank you for them. 

Victim.

Girls like to be the victim.

Before you go all Beyonce on me and start preaching about feminism and equality, let me explain. 

She said this.

She called me this.

She did this.

She she she. 

Placing the blame on others, even in small situations, often times (sometimes unintentionally) makes us the victim. We don't want to take ownership of our side of the story, because that makes us look like the bad person, so we put the blame on the other girl. This not only gives us a false sense of righteousness, but it also unfairly puts the other girl in the wrong. We take on the crown of victory by playing the victim. People will take your side if that's the only side they know. 

Instead of being victims of our circumstances and our situations, why don't we see ourselves as victims of grace? Think about it. Victims don't deserve what happens to them. They are helpless and they have no say in their circumstances. As Christians, we are victims of grace. We are sinners who do not deserve the grace of Jesus Christ. Instead of placing the blame on other girls and not extending grace to them, why don't we look at the "blame" placed on our lives by our sin, and then see the INSANE amount of grace given to us by Christ. 

As girls, we know how hard it is to be a girl. So why do we make life hard for other girls? Instead of placing blame and playing the victim, let's set aside the drama and the gossip. Let's join together as sisters in Christ and extend grace to each other in the same way that Christ has extended it to us. 

If you're interested in diving in to solid spiritual community with other girls, check out the info below. 

GIRL'S COMMUNITY GROUPS

Light Love Hope: Geared towards 7th, 8th, & 9th grade girls, LLH meets at Simply Yo on Campbell     every Sunday night from 6-7:30pm. 

Moore Mondays with Beth: Tailored to 10th, 11th, & 12th grade ladies, this Beth Moore based study meets on the first Monday of every month at Karla Thrasher's house and starts at 6pm. 

Braums Bible Study: This is for Nixa High School girls, and meets every Monday before school at Braums in Nixa. 

We're Back!

Hello lovelies!

Nothing says "time off" like a year-long blogging hiatus, right? Well, rbcgirls is back in action! We are so excited about the things happening at Ridgecrest, especially in the student ministry. The presence of God is so evident and powerful and we are just waiting to see what He does next!

Today I want to talk about the goodness of God. Not the kind of goodness where, because you prayed before dinner, He gives you a puppy and a lollipop. The kind of goodness where, in a world overrun with evil and deceit, we know that there is a greater reasoning and purpose for us as believers.

This type of goodness is sometimes hard to swallow. Not just on a large scale, where there are children dying and countries at war, but on a scale that directly affects your day-to-day life. When life seems to fall apart and it gets overwhelming, we can often question the goodness of God.

Of course, we would never say outwardly that we don't think God is good. As believers, we are taught from a young age that God is good and loving and patient. While all these are true, we often forget that perhaps God's definition of these words does not match our definition. Maybe what I want isn't what the Lord wants. And if I truly believe that He is good, isn't that ok?

…I want to live in a nice house with a jacuzzi tub…and if not, He is good.
…I want to find someone who will love me well and love Christ more…and if not, He is good.
…I want to be successful in my career field…and if not, He is good.

You see, it's not the things that are bad, it's our reaction when we don't get them. Do we base our perception of the goodness of God off of getting what we want?

Check out what these verses say about goodness:

-Romans 8:28
-Psalm 23:6
-Psalm 107:1
-James 1:17

Ladies, as emotional beings (just being honest here), we like to throw fits and stomp our feet and cry all of our mascara off. The world tells us that this is a normal, expected response when things don't go our way. However, we are not normal, we are called to be set apart for Christ. This means in all circumstances, good and bad, we are glorifying Christ and His goodness.

Remember this school year, as you deal with teachers who don't like you, classmates who are mean, and bad hair days (the worst!), that God is God and He is good.

Love you all!

Emilee