This week our discussion was based off of the show WifeSwap.
Have you ever seen the show? The show focuses on the lives of two wives who
trade families for two weeks. For the first week, the mom has to play by the
other families rules. But for the second week, the new mom gets to make up her
own set of household rules, and the other family must adhere to those rules. At
the end of the show, each wife is given a certain amount of money that they
divide up for the other family to use (College fund, vacation, music lessons,
etc). Sometimes there are some pretty nasty fights that occur because the
families don’t have patience with one another.
Which of the following real families from the show WifeSwap
would be the most irritating for you to live with?
(A) The
Galvans, where a controlling mom picks which clothes everyone wears each day,
sets a timer for how long the kids brush their teeth, inspects every room daily
to make sure everything is perfectly clean, and listens in on everyone else’s
phone calls.
(B) The
Haigwoods, who raise their own food on their farm and eat it all raw (even the
meat), don’t believe in school (or home schooling), never buy anything new
(they barter or buy used), and never eat in restaurants.
(C) The Roys, whose home is out of
control chaos: mountains of laundry, rooms where the floor can’t be seen
because of the mess, burping contests, public rudeness, frequent pranks,
constant television, and absolutely no chores for anyone.
We talked about three different things that we need to have
patience with:
-Irritating people: Let’s face it. Even if you are the most
self-controlling person in the world, some people are just irritating. It can
take patience to understand and love certain people.
-Pet peeves: We all have certain things that are guaranteed
to annoy us. How you deal with your everyday annoyances tells a lot about how
patient you are.
- Waiting: If you find it hard to wait to get what you want,
to see changes, or to gain control of a situation, then you need more patience.
If you struggle with irritating people in your life, instead
of lashing out at them, or gritting your teeth and hiding your feelings, try
out these three new rules to help you have patience:
Rule 1: Give them understanding
Try to understand people better before getting irritated
with them—you may discover an explanation for their behavior. If you understand
a person, you will be more likely to have patience with them, because you know
the reasoning behind their actions.
“Those who are patient have great understanding.” –Proverbs
14:29
Rule 2: Give them a break
Even if you can’t find any explanation for someone’s
behavior, over-look those faults by loving that person.
“Be patient with each other, making allowances for one
another’s faults because of your love.” –Ephesians 4:2
Patience isn’t simply about what it does for you; it’s about
loving because we’re commanded to love. There is a very powerful connection
between patience and love—when I’m not showing patience, I’m not showing love.
Rule 3: Give them what you’ve received
When you stop and think about it, God has had to exhibit far
more understanding with you over your lifetime than you have to show to the
person you’re irritated with at the moment. If you are merciful to someone, you
will grow to have more patience with them.
“But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me
as a prime example of His great patience with even the worst sinners.” - 1
Timothy 1:16
Just as God showed mercy on us by sending His Son to die for
us, we should also show mercy to those who irritate us.
When your pet peeves strike again, try these new rules to
de-peeve those annoying pets:
Rule 1: Let go of your way
Pet peeves are really nothing more than little moments of
selfishness. Learn to let go of your agenda, your preferences, and your
expectations.
“Love is never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not
demand its own way.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5a
Think of some pet peeves that you have. What is the link
between those pet peeves and selfishness? How you exercise patience instead?
Rule 2: Let go of your pity party
Impatient people tend to let pet peeves get to them quickly,
especially when they’re tired, frustrated, sick, or feeling sorry for
themselves.
“Love is not irritable or touchy.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5b
Now, I’m sure as girls, we all know what it means to be
touchy. But when we’re touchy, we’re not showing love, or patience to those
around us.
Rule 3: Let go of your grudge
Sometimes pet peeves are best handled by not paying
attention to them. Learn to let something slide, overlook an insult, or stop
noticing every little thing someone does wrong.
“Love does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when
others do wrong.” – 1 Corinthians 13:5c
Holding on to a grudge is the same as keeping bitterness in
your heart. How can you apply this verse to times when your pet peeves make you
impatient?
Do you find it hard to wait? Here are your new rules to help
you find peace while you’re waiting:
Rule 1: Don’t just do something—stand there!
If you get presumptuous and assume God is late, you might
decide to do something just to be doing something! You might make a snap
decision, go with what feels good, or jump the gun and act even when the
decision isn’t clear.
“God makes everything happen at the right time.”
–Ecclesiastes 3:11
In what situations have you sometimes felt like God was
“late”? How does this verse—and this rule—help you not jump the gun?
Rule 2: Don’t fret—pray.
Delays and roadblocks are there for a reason. Instead of
stewing and fretting about what you should do, use the delay to pray. When you
see the phrase, “Wait on the Lord”, it usually means to pray while you wait!
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not
fret…” – Psalm 37:7
How can prayer help you when you hit obstacles along your
way?
Rule 3: Don’t decide if you don’t have peace.
Don’t steamroll over the roadblock or panic about your
confusion. Invite God to stand there with you, and don’t make a move until He
releases you to do so by giving you peace.
“For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace.” – 1
Corinthians 14:33
How can this rule help you handle situations that you don’t
have peace about?
If you struggle with one or more of these issues, pray.
There will never be a time when prayer can hurt. If you deal with irritating
people, pray that you might understand them and have more patience towards
them. If you have a lot of pet peeves, pray that God would give you the
patience to handle them. If you struggle with waiting, pray for peace and
understanding in your life. Don’t hesitate to ask God for His direction in your
life.
~Emilee
