Okay rbcgirls, we just finished week three of "Lies Young Women Believe." The first week we talked about different lies we believe. Last week we talked about the lie ‘God should fix my problems’. This week’s lesson: all about boys. A major lie that young women believe is ‘I need a boyfriend’. We believe that without a boyfriend, we are worthless or not as valuable as the girls that do.
Ask yourself this question: Do you feel better about your life when you have a boyfriend or know that a guy is interested in you?
Your answer translates in to your self worth. And then the reverse happens: if I don’t have a boyfriend, I must be __________. How did you fill in the blank? Be honest. If we believe the lie ‘I need a boyfriend’, that lie quickly becomes ‘I need a husband’.
Tori shared with us how she struggled to find happiness outside of a relationship. She talked about how she based her worth and identity on how many boys noticed her. In high school, Tori found herself in a destructive relationship. She knew the things her boyfriend was doing weren’t right, but she didn’t say anything. After a few months, Tori really felt like the Lord was telling her to end things. She ended the harmful relationship with that boy, and started a fresh relationship with God. Tori realized that her self worth should not be based on what a guy thinks about her; it should be found in Christ.
Ephesians 5:31-32 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
God designed marriage to be an earthly picture of his love and sacrifice for us. However His purpose for your life is not for you to be happy, but to glorify Him. His purpose for marriage is not to make you happy, but to glorify Him.
When you look for happiness in a guy, or any person, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. We try and fill up our lives with people and things, when only God can fill us.
Song of Solomon states, “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, do not stir up or awaken love before it’s time.”
What does it mean to awaken love?
The bride in Solomon’s story has an intense passion and strong desires for her fiancé. Let’s get this straight ladies- it is not wrong to have these feelings. But God makes it clear that these feelings are not to be expressed until after the wedding. This leads perfectly into our next lie…
… ‘It’s not really sex…’ What are some lies the world tells you about sex? When is it ok? What counts as sex?
It’s really easy to get caught up in the feeling that you are the only virgin left. “Everyone else is doing it”. The devil tries to wiggle his way into our lives and plant seeds of doubt in our mind. Let’s look at what the Bible says about sex:
Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.”
What qualifies as ‘sexual immorality’? What kind of actions, behaviors, attitudes, etc., hint at sexual immorality?
Anything that causes you or your brother to stumble is a sin. Even our choice in TV shows can cause us to sin sexually. As Christian women, we have the responsibility to help our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“Therefore, let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” –Romans 14:13
Abi shared with us about waiting for your husband, and the fulfillment and joy of marriage. She talked about how she never dated and never felt the urge to date in high school. But once she got to college, things started to change. Her mind was set on finding a husband. “If I had more than one class a semester with a guy, I thought we were meant to be together.” But still she prayed and asked God for a loving man to marry. Abi started attending Stonebridge church, where she met James. They became good friends, and before too long, he asked her out. Now girls, here is a funny little fact: James (Copeland) has an abnormally small esophagus. In turn, he chokes super easily on food. On Abi and James first date, he started choking on a bite of food. Since he couldn’t talk, he just got up and walked to the bathroom. Imagine poor Abi, not knowing what was happening or if he was coming back. In the end, he DID come back, and the rest was history…. Abi also talked about the joy of knowing that there was one man out there that had been saving himself for you. God has given you a gift to share with one man: your husband. And until that time, it’s our job to allow the Lord to strengthen us and honor Him with our gifts.
Think about your physical boundaries with guys. How far can you go before you get hurt?
Take some time this week to think about how your relationships with boys affect your relationship with the Lord. Feel free to share your thoughts. Be bold, be brave. Dare to be different.
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